


Always After You

by lexywexie



Category: My Super Daddy Yeol, 사이코지만 괜찮아 | It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (TV), 은밀하게 위대하게 | Secretly Greatly (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternative Timeline Secretly Greatly, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Medical Conditions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexywexie/pseuds/lexywexie
Summary: The story is on an alternate timeline where Kim Soo Hyun's Secretly Greatly character, Donggu was able to live after the incident from the movie. Here, his character meets Seo Ye Ji's My Super Daddy Yeol character, Hwang Ji-hye, a doctor.It's a story about love, acceptance, but most especially, finding another reason to live life.
Relationships: Kim Soo Hyun | Seo Ye Ji, Won Ryoo-hwan | Hwang Ji-hye
Comments: 32
Kudos: 244





	1. Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> May contain typographical errors. Please turn a blind eye heheheheheh

Prologue:

*Five.

_They were after me._

_Running like a mongrel chased by those who hunger for dogmeat._

_I can't let them catch me._

Four.

_I killed the smallest._

_Bit off its arms and twisted its neck._

_They wont defeat me._

_I'm Won Ryoo-hwan._

Three.

"Ryoo-hwan..... My son."

_Who's that? Who's calling?!_  
_Mom? Mom, is that you?_

"Ryoo-hwan!!!! RUN!"

_Run? Why am I running? Whats happening??!!_

Two.

_I'm tired. I'm tired. I dont want to run anymore._  
_Me want to stop. Please._

_P-please._

_Donggu can't run a-anymore._  
_Donggu tired._

_Dongg-..... tired._

One.

"Donggu? My boy, where are you?"

_M-mom? Mom?? I'm sorry. I'm so sss-sorry._

"Please come back to me."

_I-I want too, mom. P-please don't cry. Please, dd-dont._

Zero.

"Sshhhh. It's gonna be fine."

_Who's t-that?_

"Stop crying now. You look better smiling."

_Y-you think ss-so?_

"Sssh. Everything will be fine."

_O-okay. Okay. I'll stop-p cryi....... *_

Honking cars.  
Bustling subway.

Everything humming in soft chaos.

The city was very much alive despite basking at the heat of the afternoon. The summer sun shines brighter than ever before. Scorching the land with its unforgiving heat. Good thing the winds take with them the gentle breeze of the mountains.

There was still a relief.

"Sigh."

Hwang Ji-hye deeply inhales the air as it sweep her hair afloat. The hospital rooftop has become her quiet place. Away from the squall below.

Her haven.  
Where noone even bothered to come at this time because it was too hot.

She really doesn't mind the heat. Summer season is short lived and when Fall comes again, this place -the hospital rooftop- her special place won't be special anymore.

She glances at her wristwatch trying to give shade over the glass casing which was refracting the sun's glaring ray.

Twenty-two minutes left before lunchtime ends.

Her schedule was jammed packed. She has to give ointment rounds to the patients in ward 10 who were suffering from 2nd degree burns when a restaurant near Naegok-dong burst into fire. Next is checking the condition of the rich old man occupying one of the VIP rooms. She hates that old geezer who keeps on asking if she's in a relationship.

The list goes on and on and on.

Her wandering and complaining thoughts stopped when she remembered something.

Him.

That mysterious patient who was rushed in this hospital three days ago.

A young man with beautiful eyes.

Bruised all over his body.  
Blood-drenched fist.

Laying on his left side due to a knife stabbed on his right shoulder blade.

His shirt, once white was bleeding red.

She tries to recall everything.

It was late in the noon.  
Probably a minute before six.

Ji-hye was washing her hands in the lavatory when the guy was rushed into the hospital. There was a lot of commotion happening and she heard it.

She got curious and went out immediately only to be dragged by another doctor along the way.

"Doctor Hwang, we need your assistance." The doctor said while holding her on her shoulder.

She find herself matching the pace of the doctor. Before she could even ask what's happening, Ji-hye saw a man lying sideways on a stretcher.

By the looks of him, even a common man will be able to say he's in a worst condition.

He was a mess.

Soaked up from the rain.  
Swollen right eye.  
A bruise around his neck riped and purple in color.

And a knife sticking on his upper back.

His current state was no joke.

She was in between curious and concerned but then she saw the man's situation. The questions inside her mind dissolved as she doubles her speed to match the speed of the stretcher.

Duty calls.

She reached to check his pulse.

Giving a few seconds of light finger presses on his neck.

She was counting the ticks only to be distracted by his soft sobbing.

He was crying.

Ji-hye thought it's a good thing. It just means he still got the energy amidst his current condition.

A strand of the guy's hair was pricking his swollen eye and even it was subtle, she saw how it irritates him.

So, as thoughtful as she was, Ji-hye brushed his hair away. Only to see he was staring at her.

Teardrops still gushing down. His stares reflects signs of pure pain.

But not of physical means. Something deeper.  
Pain that emanates from inside.

From somewhere within memory.

She shook the curiosity away and proceeded to take his pulse by the wrist.

Ji-hye was about to reach for his wrist when the guy grabbed her by the hand.

She was surprised with his reflex. Ji-hye looked at his face.

Maybe he needs something.

But he was just gazing at her. Swollen socket, unbalanced gazes fixated at her. Injured features intentively watching over her.

The guy gently puts pressure on her hand.

Anyone could get frightened by such gesture.

A complete stranger squeezing your hand? What more if he or she looks like they came from a fight and killed someone?

Common thoughts. Common reaction to such event.

But not with Ji-hye's situation, not right now.

His hold wasn't giving that scary demeanor to her. His glance not domineering.

It feels like hope.

He's warmth, in spite of his palm being wrinkled and cold for it was wet for a long time. But it seems to tell her, it's fine.

That he is fine.

That's when she saw passed through the injured facade.

Beautiful eyes regardless of how damaged his physique recieved. The tears that once drowned him stopped from flowing.

With one last glance, he slowly closed his eyes and fell into a sudden rest.

"What's with him?"

She finds herself questioning the flashback. Another gust of air comes and she felt it brush on her skin.

She shut her eyes to savor its gentle caress only to be disturbed by a voice coming from somewhere.

"Dr. Hwang! Dr. Hwang!"

The sound was coming from downstairs approaching the rooftop.

"Dr. Hwang, are you here?!"

Ji-hye turned to face where the call was coming from.

"Thank God, you're here!"

The searcher was chasing his escaped breath. Bending and putting his arms on his knees for support.

"Oh, Nurse Jo. Why we're you looking for me? Is everything fine?"

She asked Nurse Jo Jaesu who was still out of breath.

"Doc, the.... the..."

Still trying to gather all the air that escaped his lungs.

Ji-hye was perplexed.

"The.. what?"

Nurse Jo straightened his self up. Closing his eyes and tried gasping for a whiff of air.

"Nurse Jo? What is it?"

Ji-hye's curiosity was kicking in. Nurse Jo is making the waiting too long.

"The guy in room 275 is finally awake."

Room 275? She tries to recall who's the patient occupying that room number.

"Oh, the badly injured guy from three days ago?" She quickly responded.

"Then that's good news, Nurse Jo. Good for him."

She smiled from the information. Of course she's happy.

For him.

The nameless man was in a state like he's not gonna make it. With all that damage he got from somewhere, he was almost at death's door. In addition to that, the guy also got high fever on the second day since he got admitted. It felt like he's not going to make it.

Ofcourse, as a doctor, she wants the guy to recover fast and full. But it's only a given to prepare for the worst-case.

That's why she can't help but smile widely. She's happy he surpassed that life and death situation.

The little congratulatory party for him inside her mind was unceremoniously halted with the nurse's next words.

"The guy is making a commotion inside the room! He's threatening the nurses and doctors inside."

The guy, making a scene? She was amazed how fast he's recovered. For him to cause such stir after three days of being bedridden means he's really fit and able.

Her curiosity about him deepens. Who is he? Where did he got that energy?

"Dr. Hwang, the guy.... he's also saying your name."

She was taken aback by what she heard.

"He's looking for me? Wha-how, why?"

"I don't know either. He keeps on saying Ji-hye- Ji-hye while his doing a boxing stance. It's actually scary!"

Ji-hye gulped from Nurse Jo's words.

_Why is he looking for me?_  
_What's happening?_

_What did I do?_

_WHAT DO I DO???!_

"Please, doc. You need to go there before everything turns into something we don't wanna happen."

Ji-hye was stucked in her position. Her surroundings became a blur and all that she's focusing into is what might happen to her once she goes into that room.

"Doctor!"

Nurse Jo's tensed voice pulled her from her deep thoughts.

"Okay, okay! I'm going."

Under her shaky voice, she started making her way to that room she now deems forsaken.

Her thoughts were jumbled. Thinking what might happen to her once she arrives there. Trying to make possible reasons as to how he knows her name.

Every step, one possibility.

It just came to her the reality that the man was more than a victim of a grave incident.

_What if..._

_What if he's an ex-convict?_  
_Someone who bailed from the jail._

_A hired killer? A psycho?!_

Ji-hye was breathing heavily from the thoughts. She almost stumbled along the way but kept herself composed.

Room 275.

A number.  
A room.

A door that she hasn't even once thought would make her heart tremble. Days past she would only be going in and out of this door as a normal doctor.

Until now, her normal doctor days went upside down. Looming before her seems not just any ordinary door.

But a passageway between life and death.

Her hand was shaking when she reached for the knob.

She paused for a second and shut her eyes closed.

Okay, what ever happens, happens.

Encouraging herself and trying to put the lurking fear at the back of her mind.

"Let's do this, Hwang Ji-hye."

With a twist of the knob, the noise came rushing to her.

"Sir, please put that fork down."

"Where's Ji-hye??!!" the unnamed patient shouted her name again while standing in the corner near the bed. His holding a fork on one hand and the other making a defensive stance.

From his posture alone, you can tell he knows martial arts.

"Tell me where is Ji-hye??! NOW!"

"I-I am here! I'm here."

Ji-Hye raised her arm in reflex. She wasn't aware that she did. So much for pushing the fear aside.

She slowly took a step forward. Passing through three nurses in front of her.

"Sir, I am here. What d-do you need?"

She was afraid but her mind says she has to push through.

The man saw him when the other medical staffs inside the room made way for her.

Everything went deaf silence.

The guy, who was once filled with unknown rage suddenly went quiet.

He was staring at Ji-hye.

The fork he was holding on as a weapon slipped from his hand and into the tiled floor.

The metallic sound of the utensil colliding with the floor filled the quiet room.

"Jj-ji-Hye?"

His expression made a full 360 change.

His eyebrows that were once scowling in impatience gradually returning into a calmer position.

His forehead, furrowed in confusion, relaxing.

Gritting teeth finding solace under his lips and his jaw, once clenched, now easing up.

Before that, his whole face was looking like he's about to kill someone. But now with the innocence he's expressing, you wouldn't thought that he was once domineering everyone in the room.

"Ji-Hyeee!"

He ran to her. It happened in a flash that she wasn't able to react.

The guy was hugging her. It caught her in great surprise.

She was internally panicking. This guy. This guy who she was supposed to be frightened of is now embracing her? She thought she was about to get killed, she was expecting a knife or a fork stabbed into her, but a hug?

"Ji-Hyeee."

He called her name once again. She tries to break him from hugging her. Pushing him away.

But she stopped resisting when she hears him let out a soft sob near her neck.

"Ji-Ji-hye."

Another subtle weep calling for her name came from his muffled mouth.

She paused for a second trying to gather her rationality.

She was silent. The sobbing was familiar. She knew she heard this before.

The fear she's feeling was momentarily stripped down as she finds her hands rubbing and patting the guy's back.

The guy felt her warm hands on his back. and tightened her hug on her.

Ji-hye then signaled a nurse to come and silently tranquilize him.

It was successful, the man immediately went into a deep slumber.

The chaos finally ended.

"He's name was Won Ryoo-hwan."

Ji-hye was sitting on the couch with Doctor Oh Ji Wan, head of the hospital, who was informing her about the guy's identity.

They promptly went into his office right after the happening was reprimanded and he finally dozed off.

"He was once a _North Korean sleeper agent_ who was assigned to carry out task against our country."

Ji-hye was shocked with the info she just knew. A North Korean spy?

"So spies do exist?!", she was so flabbergasted that she didn't cared that she blurted out a dumb question.

Doctor Oh nods.

How would she process these new information? All along she thought that guy, that Ryoo-hwan or Domngu or something was a victim of an assault. It didn't came to her that he was actually the assailant.

Not just mere assaulting a citizen but a whole country? Her jaw dropped from everything she's heard and everything that's running in her mind right now.

"He goes by the name of Donggu, while staying here in South Korea."

Doctor Oh explained to her everything that she needs to know about that man, Ryoo-hwan or Donggu. He told him he was hunted down by his own countrymen and wanted him dead. How he survived from the assault and how he came into their hospital.

Every word from Doctor Oh's mouth sends a shiver into her spine. She was mindblown with all that she's hearing.

"W-what does it have to do with me? Why does he knew my name?!", her questions were gatling.

"Looks like he doesn't know anything about you. According to the NIS, his job operations were limited and he hasn't got any clear mission or whatsoever.", Doctor Oh replied.

Doctor Oh stood from his chair and went to the water dispenser that was located on the right corner of his office. Poured some cold water into a glass and handed it to the baffled Hwang Ji-hye, which she gladly received.

"Him knowing you is still a hanging question. With the latest exams we did on Mr. Ryoo-hwan, it shows that he is suffering from temporary amnesia caused by sudden trauma."

Shuffling back into his sit, he rummaged through some files atop his desk and handed a blue clipboard to Ji-hye.

"Here. That's from NIS. It seems that Donggu, his alias, acts as a dimwit. I mean, someone who is mentally deprived."

Ji-hye turned the clipboard open to see a photo of a guy smiling widely wearing a green hoodie and green track pants. The man's hair in the picture was shaggy but it's clear who is he. That Ryoo-hwan guy.

She got goosebumps all over her body.

"Aside from that, Ji-hye, we have a bigger problem.", Doctor Oh continued.

Ji-hye just lift her head with questioning eyes darted towards the old man.

"Looks like he is suffering from _OSDD-1_."

" _OSDD-1? Dissociative Disorder?_ ", she retorted.

"Not really the common Dissociative Disorder but what he has is almost specified as D.I.D. Due to the trauma he acquired, he's having dual identities. The scary militaristic persona was Won Ryoo-hwan and the other, childlike and a crybaby, the Donggu."

Ji-hye was astonished. She knows about D.I.D but she never saw someone having it until now.

"The trauma must've been serious in order to shake him like that.", Doctor Oh was still with the topic.

"Okay, I see it now. He's having a really tough time but what I dont get is what does it have to do with me?", she exclaimed.

The old man stretched his body sideways to scratched the itch from his left side belly.

"My hypothetical answer to that question is, it seems like he made you his triggering point."

Another astonishment blew into her face. Triggering point? What does that mean?

Doctor Oh didn't wait for her to make a remark. He continued with the topic.

"In leyman's term, you became his switch. The nurse who was checking him up said that after he woke up, he was already saying your name. You weren't there, ofcourse, and that's when he went so agitated and defensive."

Ji-hye was still awestruck.

"The moment you stepped in and he saw you, that's when he totally turned like a kid and went to hug you."

She was thinking hard while he was explaining. But when he said the word "hug", she couldn't help but blush. It was an embarrassing moment.

Doctor Oh saw her flushed face and grinned a little.

"With all that, I need a favor from you, Doctor Hwang."

Ji-hye snapped out from her thoughts and asked the old man about that favor.

"I need you to be that patient's personal doctor and nurse."

"What?!! Are you serious?!" Ji-hye jumped out of her sit in disbelief.

"Wha- Why? Why me?!" She asked in protest.

"I told you, you become his switch. He only turns calm and harmless if its you. We can't risk other staff's security given his Ryoo-hwan identity is dangerous."

"So you're willing to risk mine?!" She clearly is against the suggestion.

The old man pressed himself toward the desk but his fat stomach is on the way.

"It's not a risk, Ji-Hye. It's clear you're the only one who could help him."

It almost felt like an endless quarrel between the two. Ji-hye was so against his advice but Doctor Oh is persistent.

"Okay. I'll do it but I am setting my rules first." At last, he finally talked the sense out of Ji-hye.

"Here we go with your rules again. Fine, what is it?"

Ji-hye sit back on the couch and started enumerating her conditions.

She started with dropping the check up rounds for that rich old man in the vip room. The one that keeps on pestering her civil status. Second thing is that, she wants the whole rooftop to be hers and hers alone until the second half of Fall. For her third condition, she wants Doctor Oh to stop courting her mom.

"Ji-hye. Do yo really have to include that?" desperation was painted across Doctor Oh Ji Wan's face.

"Yes, I mean it." She said in a bossy manner.

"For my last condition...", she continued.

"How many conditions are you setting up?" Doctor Oh was almost close to whining.

"This is the last one, I promise." She assured him.

"After he's discharged from here, I want you to give me a month long worth of work off." Her domineering gaze says she means it.

Doctor Oh tries to retaliate from the absurd request. One month work off is such a long period now that they're currently needing medical practitioners.

"It's a deal or no deal, Doc." Ji-hye raising her head but her eyes still on him.

The way every condition was set up was like she really meant this to happen. Such witty, naughty kid.

"Okay, deal." Doctor Oh finally gave in.

Ji-hye hopped with pure joy as she was thinking how she would spend her free month vacation.

Her giddiness was overflowing as she went out of the office. All that she could think of was that vacation.

It totally slipped from her mind the reason why her dream vacation came to life.

That she has to take care of a dangerous man named Ryoo-hwan and an annoying crybaby, Donggu.

Epilogue:

It was already evening. The rain outside was heavily pouring accompanied by streaks of lightning and distant thunder rumbling.

Twenty-four hours has passed since that overly injured guy was admitted to this hospital.

The three nurses who were stationed at the front desk was talking about him. They kept on complimenting how handsome he was even though his face was covered in patches.

One of them, who made some rounds and came from room 275, said that the guy was burning with fever.

It so happened that Ji-hye was also there checking some patient files when they were talking about him.

"Handsome? Well he does look handsome." She said to herself.

The nurse was about to do another scheduled rounds but something came up and she has to tend to it first.

She relayed the task to the other two nurses but they were also doing some errands and cant leave the station.

Ji-hye heard their worries and decided to step in and help them with the rounds.

All the other listed check ups were done.

All that's left was room 275. The unnamed patient's room.

She knocked, out of discretion, and opened the door slowly.

The room was dim lighted. With only the lightning flashes illuminating the four corners.

The patient was sleeping soundly.

She proceeded to her task.

Ji-hye was checking the ECG machine when she heard a mild sobbing.

She immediately glanced at the bedridden patient who was having a nightmare.

"M-mom? Mom?? I'm sorry. I'm so sss-sorry", he cries in a whisperey tone.

Ji-hye saw his tears rolling down as another boom of lightning shed light.

She can see that he was in pain and it reminded her of the time he was rushed here.

Their first encounter.

She held his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"Sshhhh. It's gonna be fine." She whispered to him.

His cries were soft but in cursive.

"Stop crying now. You look better smiling." Trying to talk to his subconsciousness.

She saw his breathing becoming slow. Guess her words work.

She moved an inch closer and brushed his hair.

"Sssh. Everything will be fine."

He finally stopped crying.

Ji-hye stood up and reached for the other side of the bed to tuck his pillowcase. The other side was a bit far that she didn't noticed her torso was already hovering above him.

Another lightning strike half awakened the guy from his sleep. His blurry vision only seeing white and a hint of shine from a somewhat brass or gold-ish line.

Another boom of lightning helped to light up the room once again.

And with it - the once nameless guy - both Won Ryoo-hwan and Donggu, saw a word etched on the brass badge. "Ji-hye."

He closed his eyes again and fell into another slumber. But in his mind, one word kept on repeating.

_"Ji-hye."_


	2. Rooftop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day ends and with it begins the biggest challenge of her career, an Exclusive Nurse and Doctor to a derailed North Korean Infiltrator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It took so long but yey!!! Finally I could say: ALWAYS AFTER YOU PART 2 IS HERE 🤧
> 
> Hope you enjoy how Jihye and Donggu's story unfurl.
> 
> \----------------
> 
> May contain typographical errors. please turn a blind eye jshsjsjskskskakakak

"Donggu!! Donggu!! Look at me!!"

"Ji..... Hye...."

_The park._

_That day at the park._

"Don't listen to them. Look at me!!"

"So noisyyyyy!! It's so loud!! Jihyeee!"

_I lost him that day._

"I'm here! Just look at me, Donggu.....

Donggu!! ....

... WON RYOO-HWAN!!"

_I lost Donggu._

ONE MONTH AGO.

Summer days would only mean humid nights. 

Unlucky since it was more humid inside the doctor's sleeping quarters despite the AC being maxed out.

All that can be heard on Jihye's room was her tired grunting and whining.

She has been surfing the Internet and sniffing her old medical textbooks for information and further explanation about her patient's fettle.

Cursing herself everytime she remembered how sleepyhead she was during college and might have dozed off when 'Disassociative Disorder' was lectured.

For what fortune her birthrite bestowed upon her to graduate despite her laziness, managed to land a job on one of the best ranking hospital in South Korea, and be a full-pledged doctor despite being less experienced from her peers.

It was all thanks to her mother. 

Her mom has become her saviour when she thought she was a goner.

_Experience is learned_. That's what her mom would always say. _Everything isn't learn inside the corners of the classroom. You'll learn more when you're outside._

Jihye makes sure she never forgets her advices.

Closing what seems like the hundredth medical reference her compact bookshelf could offer, Jihye laid her back on the splat of her chair, closed her eyes and breathe deep.

Tomorrow will mark the beginning of her contract with Dr. Oh.

_To be Ryoo-hwan's *slash* Donggu's exclusive doctor and nurse._

Throwing herself into the comfort of her bed, she thought of him.

Jihye still couldn't believe the kind of guy he was. A North Korean spy. Her mind still unable to wrap around the event he has met to suffer a death door fate.

Shuffling on her side, she remembered his tears the night she took the initiative and completed the nurse's round.

She recalls his mumbled cry from his sleep. That night, she thought she had seen the most vulnerable thing she ever witnessed.

_He probably misses his mom._

All she could do was held his hand. Gently caressing them in hopes that somehow, her warmth can mean comfort.

Her heart broke for him.

Toss and turning to the opposite side, she reminisced how she thought her death was near when Nurse Jo said the guy was looking for her.

Jihye almost stumbled on her way to his room. Desperately collecting all possibilities why the frenzied patient was after her.

Then when she reached the dreaded unit, what she anticipated as the end of her life and all her vacation dreams, came running to him - not to hurt her - but instead, hug her like a lost boy.

_You've become his trigger._

"Uuugh... my ass. Congratulations Jihye, you totally messed up your already messy life."

A long sigh after that and she let the day's weariness drift her to slumber.

The first week came with the anticipation of warmth and welcome. Well, for everyone else excluding Jihye.

"Doctor Hwang, are you ready?!"

Doctor Oh's hearty laughter bellowed inside his office room. The old man was teasing his grumpy subordinate whose fate has been casted into the cooking pot.

"Doctor Oh, w-what if-" She attempted to have a second thought but was immediately interrupted.

"No turning back now, Little Miss. More than a request, this is ourjob." He said.

He saw the fear scribbled in her face. A minute of silence after that, only showing how bothered the young doctor has become. The old stout gentleman stood up from his belly-constraining seat and approached the worried lady. Placed a hand on her arm, and said, 

"Jihye, honestly I was hesitant too when I heard the board members discuss about this. But you're our best option."

Doc Oh's tone was full of concern. It's true he's goofy on the outside, but he's always been the father Jihye never had. Supportive and pushy at the same time. 

"I agreed because I know you could do it. I have strong faith in you, child."

Jihye's eyes seek comfort on his omniscient face. Doc Oh pat her shoulder lightly and gave her a reassuring smile. Balling his hands into a fist and did a _"fighting!"_ gesture.

"You can do it, Doctor Hwang Jihye. _Aja!"_

She threaded the hallway leading to him. If only she could stretch the path so that she'll never reach the end.

But no, there is no turning back now.

She's once again at the door that started everything.

_275._

A room number that has become her fate. The impending truth her job as a doctor changed overnight into something greater and somewhat threatening.

Jihye pushed the fear to the back of her mind. Remembering what Doc Oh told her. She was trusted and more than feeling obliged, it was a privilege to prove herself.

Alright.

"Let's do this."

She opened the door and into the quietness of the room. There was noone inside save for the patient sleeping soundly on the bed.

The lights were turned off and the only source of illumination was from the brightness of the day peeking through the large curtain blinds cascading throughout the stretch of the large glass windows.

There was this indefinable solitude within the darkness of the room. It somehow put her at ease.

Donggu looked peaceful in his sleep. Very different from the last time she saw him. The plasters on his face only shows he still has a lot of recovering to work on.

Jihye proceeded on her job.

Checking the ECG machine and taking notes in between.

She didn't noticed that Donggu woke up from his slumber. Eyes slowly opening, pupils adjusting from the daylight glaring directly on his eyes.

The creaking of the bed caught Jihye's attention. She turned and saw how Donggu was bothered.

"Omo.. I'm sorry. Did that wake you up?" She quickly reached for the curtain adjuster and twisted it close. Gradually enveloping the room in total darkness.

"Jihyeee, it's dark." Donggu's voice carried a childish fear with it.

It sounded absurd and peculiar for Jihye to hear him the way he is now. But she knew it's because of his condition. She immediately scamper to turn the table lamp on but was halted when Donggu suddenly latched onto her arm.

The abrupt action startled her. It can't be denied that this guy is still the Northern infiltrator who mightve caused a lot of lives in the past. But his current state is so farfetched from what he truly was. 

Jihye shook the thought aside and just let him hold her arm.

She reached for the lamp switch with her other hand.

It emitted a yellow hue slowly flickering in the small confinement around them. It shone on Donggu's face, illuminating his unfiltered expression. 

For whatever reason, she felt her heart almost jumping out her chest when she saw his face.

Doe eyes with tears welling at the lid.

His lips scrunched and trembling with fear.

Nose wiggling as he sniffed the tears back.

For a short moment, Donggu appeared so helpless and soft. 

So far from his reality.

A total different person.

_An innocent, harmless guy._

"It's fine now. Go back to sleep." She comfortingly said while patting his head.

"I-I don't want to sleep anymore." Loosening his hold on Jihye's arm.

Lowering his head while fidgeting his fingers. "It's dark when I close my eyes."

Awestricken by his sincerity, Jihye couldn't help but pity him. She knelt down to catch Donggu's fleeting expression. Fished for his fiddling hands giving them a gentle squeeze.

"If I turn the lights on, would that make you smile again?" It was an effort for her to find a suitable approach. But she just went with her gut feeling.

Donggu lift his head and glanced at her. Answering her question with a small shy nod.

Jihye went and switched the lights, turning the once darkened room to life.

Donggu clapped his hands in rejoice. Like a child with his needs provided.

On the far corner where the switches were located, stood Jihye. Looking at him sitting at the bed, dazzled from the brightness that filled the expanse. 

It somehow brought a smile to her lips. What she thought was a hard beginning for her, has unexpectedly turned to a soft start.

"Looks like this will not be hard, afterall."

The second week proceeded peacefully.

Jihye gradually got the hang out of her new routine despite the hesitance and fear that bugs her from time to time.

Thinking if - _what if_ \- one day, Donggu stops being Donggu and reverts to the hostile Won Ryoo-hwan.

Yet, she keeps the thought at bay. Not letting it get in the way of her job.

_The month long vacation. I have to have it._

Now, she's spending most of her time with him since that one article she came across about his condition stating that it'd be helpful if he is kept accompanied.

Once in a awhile, she would try to bring another staff with her into his room, as advised by Doctor Oh, to help Donggu counter his anthrophobia (fear of people.)

The first attempts weren't successful. Donggu eyed the first person, a nurse, domineering gazes that never left the poor guy. The nurse has scamper to exit the room when the patient started showing signs of agitation.

Next was a fellow doctor. A pediatrician. Luckily, she knew how to handle someone with child-like temperament and twas the first time Donggu successfully talked with another person aside Jihye.

It was a tough and long process.

Gradually, Donggu became more acquainted with the people around him. Slowly exhibiting signs of his mental and emotional recovery.

From then on, Jihye was able to let a few bunch of people - hospital utility, medical personnels and some patients - to the room for Donggu to interact with. 

Yet she does it carefully. Slowly showing Donggu the world outside his room and the people that exists aside from her.

Like a hatchling cracked free into the world.

Most of the days, when they're left alone, Donggu would be looking outside the window.

That was when he saw a small bird with an injured wing nestled at the sill. Donggu has been worried for the little swallow and ask Jihye if he could take care of it.

Keeping the swallow in a bird cage, feeding it with bread crumbs. Donggu was so happy when Jihye let him keep the injured animal.

Jihye thought it'll be best if he has other means he could spend his attention since she can't keep him accompanied everytime.

But if she has free time, she'll gladly spend it with him. Entering the room to either catch him talking to his feathery companion or sleeping soundly. 

One time he caught him murmuring in his rest. The corners of his mouth curving into a faint smile as he curls his body like a cat.

Sitting beside his bed as careful as she could, chin resting on her palm, she admired him in his sleep. Unable to comprehend how such face that can make any hearts melt could commit villainous acts.

With hushed voice, she thought of his possibilities, "I hope when you finally recover, you will stay being this.... this wonderful human you are now."

Donggu would always anticipate for Jihye's arrival.

He would display his brightest smile everytime she's around. Staring at her with awe while she does her work. Like the childish nature in him, giddy and clumsy at the same time. Full of curiosity and joviality.

Basked in awe in all the things he isn't familiar with.

Eyes widening and jaw dropping to everything Jihye would do.

Sometimes, she would find his giddiness conveyed into questions which would trail from simple get to know into a whole biography.

_What's your full name?_

_Hwang Jihye._

_How old are you?_

_24._

_What is your favorite color?_

_Green._

_Me too!! I love green!!_

For her, it's quite entertaining. She finds his energetic disposition contagious.

The sound of his laughter filling the room with vibrance.

The squeaking and breaking of his voice.

The squinting of his glimmering eyes.

The brightness of his smile.

His face. Pure and innocent.

Unbeknownst to Jihye, she has been looking forward for it everyday. Promptly moving first in the morning to check her patient. Quick strides hoping the hallways were shorter so she could reach fast.

Spending time with him seems to be more of a walk in a spring field than a strenuous job.

Seeing his bedazzlement in display has become a relief for her.

She never felt so appreciated.

She wasn't the best in everything she may do. Being a young doctor amidst the quantity of far more better and knowledgeable doctors in the hospital makes her doubt her capabilities. Contemplating if she truly belongs in this place. If she really deserved the luck she has.

And she find that validation in him.

In his smiles.

In his awe.

In his innocence.

Donggu still has a lot of physical healing to work on. The wound on his back caused by the knife impailing around his shoulder cap was deep and his bruises dotting on his face, swollen eye and a cut running on his chest only adds up to the list.

And noone would take care of that but Doctor Hwang Jihye.

The only personnel in the hospital who this patient is comfortable with.

During breaks or if Donggu is taking a rest, she would be seen at the cafeteria surrounded by her workmates. Her closest colleagues would tease Jihye saying maybe the guy likes her. Jihye would only retort at them lecturing that it's a dependent reflex caused by trauma.

When they would ask questions that concerns how those series of events happened, Jihye would only shook her head.

She has no idea how Donggu knew her.

_Maybe, he likes you._

The conversation replaying in her mind as she was diligently scraping the adhesives from Donggu's face. Lightly holding his chin in place to make him face her while she drifts back from awhile ago.

"Hah. Like you? How absurd. I couldn't even imagine." She said to herself. Unaware that it was loud enough for Donggu to hear.

"Jihye?" His small voice shaking her from daydreaming.

It was then when Jihye realized that she has verbalized her thoughts.

"O-oh. Why? D-do you need anything?" Attempting to divert his attention with such desperation hoping she wasn't that loud.

Donggu was intently staring at her. Cross-sitting while she's on the edge of the bed. The air seems to freeze when she saw his reaction after.

The look on his face, full of unspoken question that might have something to do with what she accidentally blurted out.

He tilted his head to the right. Blinking twice and wiggled his nose.

"D-do you need something? I... I could get it for you." She asked once more. Restlessly figuring out his actions.

Donggu answered with another head tilt to the opposite. His doe-shaped eyes never leaving her.

"Jihye-ah." He spoked. Pronouncing her name with such softness only making Jihye blush.

Her staggered expression revealing her embarrassment.

He leaned forward. Moving inches to close their gap. All that Jihye could do was hold her breath.

"Jihye-ah." Another call, resonating louder than the former.

Their eyes meet.

Hers were timid and fearful, while his was of indescribable curiosity and intent.

Donggu languidly raised his hand. Reaching for her face.

Caught up from his action, Jihye could only shut her eyes close. Frozen still in her place, force anticipation on what might unfold.

Then she felt his fingers touching the underside of her eye. Its friction only heightened due to the uncertainty. The creeking of the bed only meant Donggu was retracting back to his previous position.

When there was no more signs of commotion, Jihye peeked open only to see him smiling gleefully on her.

"Eyelash!"

Excitement was full in his reaction, holding the follicle inside his thumb and pointing finger.

An eyelash fell and got stuck above her cheek. Donggu might have noticed that. Well, he did alright.

When she finally comprehend what unfurled, she couldn't help but giggle.

Her overthinking got the best of her. She went way ahead herself and overestimated the innocent Donggu.

"Pretty eyelash......" Donggie exclaimed. Fascinated by the strand.

With a faint smile, Jihye fished for his plastered face once again and continue the removal of the patches. Holding his chin once more, gently turning his fascination to face her.

But when she did, she find herself in a much more difficult and heartfluttering situation.

Donggu, with all his attention back at her, all smiles and squinted eyes, spoked once more.

"..... But Jihye is prettier."

It was already dusk when she finished her duty.

Jihye held her chest as she stormed out of the room. Breathing and gasping for choked air.

Grabbing for her heart that seemed to fall out from its sanity.

"What was that? Jihye, what was that?!" Her voice fumbling for answers.

The whole time was a battle for her. His stares would never leave her. His smiles that widens whenever he sees her looking back.

His smiles.

It was soft and contagious.

Tapping her face thrice. Pinching her cheeks in hopes to fend the butterflies away from her stomach.

"Stop hallucinating, Jihye. Are you nuts?!"

Glad that the hallways leading to the bunkers were almost empty during the night, noone would see her aflamed ears and flustered cheeks.

She was restless that night.

Back in the comfort of her bed. Hands on her chest. Eyes thrown at the vast empty ceiling.

Contemplating over what occured that afternoon. She can't shake the memory of him smiling at her.

His eyes twinkling with innocence.

It felt warm.

How can she be weak for a single gesture?

What's with him that stirs her into paroxysm?

Wasn't he someone she has to be afraid of?

There was fear when she first knew about him. A madman. A spy. A deceiver.

Never crossing her mind that she will see him differently. Shredded from the reality that he walked -crawled rather- with the intention of sabotage.

Jihye shrugged, shaking the unwelcomed feeling away.

Forcing her rationality to step in. To save her from the infatuation. Planting herself firmly before her emotions could throw her off the edge.

Her mind drifts back to the event a several months ago. 

Back to the time when she let her emotions control her.

Back to the time when she confessed to Han Yeol.

Frustrated that he doesn't felt the same, kissing him suddenly in hopes her lips would make him fall inlove with her.

But it didn't work like that.

And she was regretful for acting that way.

It was almost a year now.

Everything has settled down and she already accepted her defeat. Embarrassment would crawl into her spine whenever she recalls that moment.

Jihye has learned her lesson.

_I need to find myself first. I need that vacation so I could reset._

_I don't want that feeling right now. I've been hurt before. I dont want another one._

A very deep inhale.

A very long exhale.

She closed her eyes, "Jihye, just do your job. Get a hold of yourself."

Threading the third week with caution, Jihye began being evasive.

Dodging his eyes whenever she can. Keeping her distance a good measure from him.

Guarding her ever fragile heart who was quickly bewitched by his smiles and clinginess.

Meanwhile, Donggu has his attention onto the little bird inside the cage. Feeding it with the bread he purposely didn't finish to give it the his avian friend.

For Jihye, keeping the bird was truly a great decision. The swallow somehow got his undivided attention. She can now do her tasks without getting bombarded by his whole presence.

"How was your patient, Jihye?" Doctor Oh asked her.

Coffee mugs clasped inside their hands as they breath the cold wind at the rooftop.

"Umm.. He's doing well?" Rhetoric answer to him.

Doctor Oh gave her a teasing glance, "Why are you asking me? I'm not his doctor."

"Of course he's fine. His wounds have healed properly and the bruises on hi-"

"How about you? How are you?" Doctor Oh stopped her from talking.

Jihye responded with a confused look making the old man repeat his question.

"Oh. I'm fine. I'm doing well, Doctor Oh. Why you ask?"

The wind blows once more. Whistling as it passes them.

Sun setting at the far west painting the sky with crisp orange hue coalescing with a hint of gold soaked clouds.

Jihye's eyes were full of wonder as she drown herself from the majestic scenery.

"When was the last time you spectated such sunset, Jihye?"

Doctor Oh's question made Jihye's astonishment fade.

_Right, when was the last time I saw the sunset?_

When was the last time she's spend her time at the rooftop?

Wasn't this place her haven?

Is this place still her comfort zone?

"You've changed, Jihye. For the better." Oh Ji Wan pats her shoulder.

"You don't have to hide and feel small anymore. And I'm proud what you've become."

She turned to face the doctor's smiling face.

A tear fell from her eye.

She felt small, indeed. Always in constant battle whether she deserved all that she has now or was it just given to her out of pity.

Jihye doubted herself many times. Her self-esteem diminished everytime the hospital clamor with medical knowledge she might have forgotten or never knew at all.

Only the quietness of the rooftop and the breeze passing her ears gave her solitude. 

She can't help but shed a tear.

"Never doubt yourself again, alright?" The father figure in Doctor Oh comforting her like she's his own child.

She nodded. Wiping her wet cheeks dry, she nodded hard.

"Now, whom do I give my gratitude for making you realize that, hm?" He teased. Trying to make her laugh.

Who made her realize?

She knew who did. Only one name comes to her mind.

 _Donggu_.

Noone but Donggu.

"Bring him here once in a while. He's been caged inside that room he might have forgotten what the world looks like."

The sun has already set. Lights bedazzling the vast city skyline. Dotting rainbow colored lights up and down the city.

She ran towards room 275. Donggu's room.

She's infront of the door again. The entrance that she once deemed as a passage to her demise, has become the path that opened her mind.

Knocking thrice before gently turning the knob.

The lights were on.

The city lights dancing at the other side of the glass windows.

And there he was, at his bed, adrift in his dream.

Jihye approached him quietly. Hoping she will not wake him from his peaceful slumber. She pulled the white sheets up to his chest and tucked them securely.

There was comfort in his face, and Jihye was finally ascertained of that.

"I'm such a fool, Donggu." She whispered.

Her fingers finding the tip of his hair. Delicately fiddling the strands of his uncut bangs.

In the span of les than a month, so much has changed in his appearance.

Only a small single patch remained in his face, near his jaw, while the rest of the bruise marks have smoothened.

His cheeks were plump unlike before.

His hair has grown able to cover his forehead.

Donggu does not look like the guy she was told he was anymore.

He was Donggu.

The man-baby who giggles at every little thing. Amazed by the things he never knew. And cares for the people around him.

Clearing his forehead from the wayward strands of his hair, she bend closer and kissed the middle of his brows.

"Thank you. Donggu."

The next day, she brought him to the rooftop.

Holding him firmly on his arm as she instructed him to close his eyes.

"Open your eyes now, Donggu."

They were just right in time for the sunset. The clear cerulean sky gradually influenced by the setting sun's color.

His face almost dropped to the floor. Excitement and wonder were uncontrollable making him dash onto the edge to savor the view.

"WOAAAH!" Donggu exclaimed.

He turned to face her. 

And there it was again.

His smile as beautiful as the sunsetting sky.

His monolid eyes squinting in pure joy.

His whole disposition effusing from his child-like manner.

There he was again, playing the strings of her fragile heart.

"Jihye!!" Donggu shouted at the top of his lungs. Arms waving at the air gesturing her to come over.

And so did she.

Picking herself up from being still and ran. Ran to his side.

But what she thought was just a simple invitation, she find herself encased inside his arms.

He ran towards her, too.

And when their spaces merged, he embraced her.

Tightly.

Yet Delicate.

He's build loomed over her. Enveloping her.

Soft giggles from his mouth pressed in her ears.

Donggu was really happy.

"It's pretty. It's pretty." He remarked. His arms constricting her more.

What choice do Jihye have but to surrender herself. So she hugged him back. As hard as she could.

"It's really pretty." Donggu said once more.

Jihye just nodded in response. Her face buried on the his tousled hospital gown.

Indeed it was pretty. But Jihye knew someone more prettier....

_You're prettier, Donggu._

Epilogue:

Fourth week came with the promise of last weeks acceptance.

Jihye opens her heart once more.

Not because she has fallen deep for him, but because she found someone that believes in her.

Her new safe haven.

Her new rooftop.

But she never expected, nor hinted, that as they neared the end of the month, her time with Donggu ends with it.

"Jihye...... Birdie died." The breaking in his voice was heart-jarring.

Mourning over a lose of his dear friend.

"B-birdie died."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dont forget to vote for Seo Yeaji on the Choeaedol Celeb app.
> 
> If you're already on it, remember to SAVE YOUR EVER HEARTS and ONLY USE YOUR DAILY HEARTS.
> 
> Let's bring Yeaji to AAA! 😼💖
> 
> twt: @lexywexie :>


	3. Birdcage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When her world collides with his,what would be their outcome?

* * *

_Some things barge into your life to only realize they would mean irreplaceably important._

Jihye often hears that from her mother. With a tender squeeze on her shoulder or a light pat over her head, Mrs. Hwang would remind her.

"Everyone in a point in their lives, will find something that'll etch it's way a special, irrefutable place in their hearts." Pointing to her heart as she finished, that's how she'll go.

Jihye would only just smile back then, a child with blissful innocence would never understand that words could mean much more than how it rolls on the tongue.

"One day, sweetie. You'll understand."

Unbeknownst to her, that day would come like how light travels inside a room upon switching the triggers on.

Instantaneous and blinding.

Making everything bright.

_Too bright_.

"Jihye... B-Birdie is gone."

Donggu remorsefully sat on his bed.

Sorrowed.

Dumbfounded.

His eyes were swollen from all the crying he endeavored to muffle. But despite his efforts to subdue his tears, the melancholic feeling alone was enough to overshadow the whole room.

Birdie's death left a devastated Donggu in its wake.

Not one in Jihye's days did she expected she'll see him in a very pitiful state. Unlikely of his usual cheerful self.

He might be a grown man on the outside, but he's just a small helpless kid inside who lost a best friend. 

And Jihye could only look at him with pity.

"I'm so sorry, Donggu." She tried to calm him down. If only her words could provide him respite.

All that Jihye could give him now is the assertion of her company. Her presence. So she stayed until Donggu felt the strain of sadness in his body that forced him to take rest. And when sleep has finally taken the best of him, the young doctor called it a day.

She finds another sleepless night back in the confines of her bunker. The burden of the day should've knocked her to sleep the moment her weary body collides with the mattress, but no. Instead she was left staring at the ceiling, Mind occupied by Donggu.

"Should I buy him a replacement?" She thought to herself. Buying another bird that looks uncannily similar to Birdie.

It doesn't sound right.

_Indeed_.

Doing so felt incredibly wrong in many ways. It sounded too unthoughtful and decided to discard the ludicrous idea.

"Now that was so unbecoming of you, Jihye." Scolding herself.

"If only I could bring him outside." She sighed, tossing her hands to her sides with the sense of frustration.

Well, if the context of just being outside is the point, she's able to do that. But there was one catch to it, they're only allowed around the hospital premise where it's less populated or else, it may trigger his condition. 

The walks were a part of his therapy, recommended that he at least need to be away from the confines of his hospital room and accustomed himself of the world outside his.

It was relief that Donggu was enthusiastic about it.

It went like a field trip filled with nothing but excitement and innocent amusement. Although it wasn't that much and just walking around medicine-whiffed air and passing an endless sea of lab coats so white it's an eye sore.

But if it cheers him up, then it's totally worth the time.

Until time came where the luxury they once looked forward to, became an obligatory task.

Same corridors.

Same hallways.

Similar wall coating, furnitures and paintings.

Same faces.

A repetitive cycle that gradually killed the excitement. And it was obvious in Donggu's part who now seemed to like it more to stay cooped inside his room.

_Like a bird inside a cage._

Sometimes Jihye would wish to understand him more but everyone around her is either tight-lipped about his identity or knows nothing at all.

"If only there are other people who could help me understand him." She suddenly blurted out.

And at that moment, she was reminded of something.

She sprung out of her bed and immediately approached her desk. Rummaging for Donggu's records as fast as she could.

Realizations and questions racks her curiosity demanding for answers.

For clarifications.

_Where was he ~~hiding~~ -staying here in South Korea?_

_Who gave him shelter?_

They've been together for a month now and Jihye always had the urge to just ask him of his background since no one else would tell her anyways -not even Dr. Oh who would keep on saying that there are confidential matters left for the police to handle. 

Ofcourse, she can't just casually bring that up given his current condition. That would be totally rude and unbecoming of her. So she just shrugged the intentions away till she totally forgot.

"A sane, law-abiding citizen of South Korea. Please" She internally chanted. Hoping that Donggu is not just all the sleeper agent that he is.

Fingers crossed she wouldn't end up having to ask assistance from a criminal, or another spy or anything that is enemy to the government.

This is a whole different risk she's taking. But for Donggu..

_No_..

.. In the name of her profession, she continued.

Flipping through pages and skimming every word and sentence.

Pictures and names.

Information after information.

The file was not even close to a phone directory's thickness but the contents was an eye sore on its own.

She went on until she arrived on a photo.

A picture of a woman around her 60's. Wearing a knitted white shirt under a green apron.

_Jeon Soon-im. 68._

_Sip-jeong Don, Incheon._

_Owner of a grocery store._

_Mother to Bang Donggu/Won Ryoohwan._

"Mother?" She finds herself asking. She flips to another page with another picture of the same lady, but now showing her interactions with Donggu.

The first one, they were walking side by side. Carrying a case of beverages and a tote bag stuffed to the rim dangling on one of his shoulders.

The next photo seems to be of the same time as the former but now was showcasing him placing the beer case outside a store. The photo radiates a different feel to it. Something she didn't expect.

The old woman was fondly looking at him. Faint smile on her lips. An appreciative look in her eyes.

If Jihye hadn't known that it's an illusion, she'd thought it was a random photo of mother and her child candidly taken in a mundane day.

Although she's aware of his disguise as a total idiot, she couldn't help but be puzzled that he did live with an unknowing old woman.

_Or was she really innocent, at all?_

Yet the look on the woman's face in the photo shows purity. Her smile towards him wasn't something forgeable.

She could vouch for it.

She has witnessed the same reaction of patients to their relatives and vice versa. No doubt that whatever the old woman has for Donggu was genuine.

A look of total adoration and unpretentious love.

"Mrs. Jeon Soon-im..." She read. Familiarizing herself with the woman's name. "Donggu's mother." She continued.

Closing the clipboard and tucking back to her bed, Jihye drifted to slumber. Hoping that tomorrow would be a little bit generous.

The chirping birds filled the dewy morning. Last night's downpour left the awakening world chilly. A few rumbling cars occasionally hums towards their destinations, signalling the start of a new day.

Beating her own alarm, Jihye immediately rushed to check on Donggu. Ensuring he's doing alright for the moment and hopefully,for the rest of the day.

He was still asleep when she peeked inside his unit. The birdcage was still there. Jihye couldn't bring herself to dispose it without him knowing. So she best believed to just leave it there for Donggu.

When everything seemed to be cleared, she silently left the room.

"Can I ask to be excused for this morning, Dr. Oh?"

Jihye was back at the director's office. The stout old man was making his morning cup of coffee while she was standing near the couch, eagerly waiting for her senior's response.

But there was no reaction at all so Jihye proceeded talking.

"I'm.. I'm planning to visit Donggu's mom."

Silence befell when the old man paused stirring the warm drink. With a coffee cup in hand, Dr. Oh slowly approached the younger colleague.

He stared at Jihye which made her brows wiggle in confusion.

"You seemed to grow fonder of Mr. Won." He teasingly exclaimed.

"What?" She squeaked. Unsure if she heard him right or did he really meant what he just said.

"You like him, don't you?" He quipped. A cheeky grin following his question.

"What? No!" Jihye quickly shrugged. "I.. I'm just here to help him. Nothing else." She added, pocketing her hands inside her lab coat as her eyes darted away from the old man's uncalled inquiry.

Oh Ji Hwan spent a few more seconds glaring at her. He just shook his head in entertainment. She can't even hide it, how hopeless.

The old doctor stirred the coffee once more, letting the steam swirl upward to cool the warm drink.

"Here." Breaking her from her uneasiness. "Drink this first before you go." He fondly said.

"No, thank you I don-"

He cut her from refusing by inching the cup towards her as if insisting her to take it.

"A warm drink before venturing to somewhere is a must. And don't worry, that's clean." He winked as Jihye perplexedly reached for the cup.

"I.. no I don't mean like that -"

She was cut with a gleeful grunt from the old man.

"I.. uh.. Thanks." And took the cup from Dr. Oh.

"Be sure to be back before noon. He'll be looking for you if you're out for too long." Jihye just nodded and picked her bag from the couch when Dr. Oh spoke once more.

"Y'know,it's amusing how the boy holds you so dear. He's grown accustomed to you."

Jihye doesn't know why but when the old man said that, she blushed. Doctor Oh saw her reaction and just cheekily snorted.

"What are you waiting for? Go! I'll take care of Donggu in the meantime."

And with that, Jihye hurriedly set off.

Unconsciously, the old man's silliness resoundingly stuck in her head.

_Do you like him?_

"Do I? Of course not, silly! I'm just concerned. That's all."

_The boy holds you so dear._

"Heh. Yeah, he does."

"He truly does."

The trip to Incheon almost took an hour. Gladly, the transit wasn't that crowded that day and Jihye was able to reach her destination soundly.

It wasn't much of a hassle because she enjoyed the view along the way.

It has been long since the last time she visited Incheon. And it feels much longer since her job as a doctor paves no time for free time at all.

It was still early when Jihye reached the sub-urban.

The way to Sip-jeong Don was a rather shorter trip. Despite the small detour due to an undergoing road construction, the journey still went smoothly.

Sip-jeong Don was a mundane neighborhood. Not much going on except for a few people with their suitcases or backpacks walking down the streets. The place was situated on a slope where houses appeared as if they were terraced and toppled atop one another. Up above were cobweb-like electric wires. Knotted and swinging and swaying from pylon to another.

Everything felt cramped and shoved to fit every small gap. Houses and establishments, painted in an array of misfitting colors occupied every roadside. Leaving almost nothing for a single greenery to grow.

The entirety of the place seems to exist in a pleasant discord. A common atmosphere, one of the many faces of a capitalist country.

Mundane looking it may seem on the outside but still exudes a skeptic impression. One that proves to shelter plans of espionage.

"Alright." She heaves. Motivated by her will to help her patient, Jihye ventured forth.

It didn't take long till Jihye located the address indicated in the information she took from the clipboard.

The old woman -Donggu's mother, was sweeping the dried up leaves in front of her store. Picking a few beer bottles left scattered on a nearby bench.

Jihye approached and lent the woman a hand which startled the woman. She immediately bowed her head when she saw the young lady who reciprocated her gesture with a courteous,much lower bow.

Jihye handed the bottles to the old woman who thanked her afterwards.

"Thank you for the assistance. This frail body couldn't do much as it did before" Donggu's mom joked. 

"How can I repay you, Miss? Do you need anything?" She asked. Not wasting the woman's time who seemed to appear as either lost in the neighborhood or was just passing by on her way to a meeting.

"I'm actually looking for a specific Jeon Soon-im. You.. You're Jeon Soon-im, right?" Jihye reluctantly responded.

The lady was puzzled for a moment. "Yes, I'm Jeon Soon-im. Is something wrong?"

Jihye was silently sitting inside the living room. It was a compact receiving area cramped with a bunch of furniture by the wall, only saving space for a small wooden roundtable and two rags to sit on at the center. From the looks of it, the room also serves as a bedroom. A cabinet placed on the corner has a rolled futon tidied and shoved in between the cabinet and the wall.

There wasn't much the space could boast but only the coziness that hangs in the air. Something that reminds Jihye of the comfort of being at home feels like.

She could only savor the feeling.

She misses it.

She misses home.

A ceramic tapping sound of a teaspoon pulls Jihye from her daydream.

Mrs. Jeon came from the kitchen with a tray of cookies and a cup of tea. Gently placing them on the table. She then sat across her sheepishly smiling guest.

"How may I help you... Dr. Hwang?" The older lady opened the conversation.

Jihye was momentarily surprised when she heard her name only to realize that she's still wearing her pin.

"Oh." She giggled. The old woman did too and the gesture somehow eased the awkwardness they felt between them.

Not wasting any moment of it, Jihye passed her the photo.

"Ahjumma, do you know him?" She asked.

It was a heartbreaking sight to witness how her once soft smile gradually morphed upside down upon realizing who's in the photo. It took her a short while to respond but the wistful pondering and the very faint smile on her pursed lips showed nothing but longing.

"He's... He's my son. Bang Donggu." She cleared her throat before resuming. "Why? Do you know him?"

Heart-jarring it was to witness how a mother shattered for her lost child. Although Donggu wasn't hers biologically, Mrs. Jeon has undoubtedly cherished the time she had with her foster son.

There was no need for delay, Jihye thought. With a slow nod, the revelation flutters out.

Donggu's mother was that of Pandora's box. After all the pain she had, hope finally surfaced.

Atlast she cried after a moment of shock. There was a relief so futile it stung Jihye's heart.

"You.. You're not lying, right?"

"He's really alive, isn't he?"

"H.. How is my son?"

"How's my Donggu???"

The series of questions unfurls with every tears choking her from speaking.

There was pain and regret and guilt shimmering on the pools of her tears but more than that, was anticipation and hope in her every ladened words.

Jihye reached for her hand. Caressed the back of her palm and affirmatively reiterated.

"He is alive, maam."

"Oh. Oh, thank the heavens!" Her prayers were answered. All those endless prayers and devotion, paid off and granted.

"Where- Where is he? Please take me to where he is, please?!" She plead. Clasping the doctor's hand with both of hers.

Jihye could feel the excitement from her touches alone. It traces and vibrates with every tremble of her calloused hands.

"We need to wait, ma'am." She informed the frantic lady. Bringing her free hand over hers.

Just like how every mother would react from such uncertainty, Mrs. Jeon overreacted.

"Why is there a need to wait? Wha..why? Is..Is he okay??" 

"He's going to be fine, ma'am. Donggu is being treated well. He'll get better." Jihye gave her assurance.

Mrs. Hwang nodded. And when she finally calmed down, Jihye carried the reason of her visit.

"Mrs. Jeon, can you please tell me more about him?"

Tic..

Toc...

Tic...

Toc...

All that can be heard inside room 275 was the ticking of the clock. It was so quiet that every click became a saving grace from the deafening stillness.

"Donggu, it's time for you to eat your lunch." Doctor Oh told the forlorn patient who was still curled up on his bed. 

A nurse came in bringing the patient's meal.

It was a bowl fully stuffed with rice, a warm soup,some meat and vegetables on the side. There were also a glass of water, a yogurt drink, and a fruit.

A full course that'll satisfy a hungry stomach and hopefully, a weary soul.

Yet Donggu remained cooped under his blanket and ignored everything.

"Donggu...." The old man sat by the edge of the bed and begged. "... if you don't eat even a little, Jihye would get mad at you. Do you want her to get mad?"

Like a switch, Donggu immediately sprung.

He glanced at the older man and shook his head. "N..no. I... I don't want Jihye to get mad at me."

His reaction made the doctor grin. Ofcourse he don't. Dr. Oh knew that trick would totally work.

"Are you feeling better now, Donggu?" He asked out of nowhere.

No response.

Donggu just continued stuffing his mouth with food.

Dr. Oh was aware that the bird means a lot to Donggu. His paternal senses kicked in when he glanced to where the bird cage was placed.

"I'm sorry that this happened, child." He ruefully apologized which made Donggu stop eating.

Putting the chopsticks back on the plate, his tears started to erupt once more.

"Oh no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Dr. Oh hastily cupped his face. Bringing his attention to him to wipe the tears from his eyes.

Donggu appears so innocent with his reddened nose and tear smudged cheeks that you would doubt he's an enemy to the government.

"No wonder I Jihye likes you." He thought.

He stared a little longer before speaking again.

"How are you?"

Donggu just shed more tears which Doctor Oh gently swats away.

"Go ahead. Cry it all out. Don't hold yourself." The old man paternally told him.

"It's alright to cry if the pain is unbearable. No need to hold back if everything becomes too much to handle." He continued.

"B..Birdie died..." Donggu shakingly exclaimed. Telling the old man his worries like how a small child would tell his own father.

"Yes, I know and I'm sorry that it has to happen." Dr. Oh scooched closer to him. Fishing for the boy's hands and clasping them together.

"Losing someone you love does hurt a lot. I have experienced that myself."

"Yo.. Youu did?"

"Oh yes. I did when I lost my wife and it was hard for me, too."

"I'm.. I'm sorry to hear that, doc." Donggu softly answered that made the doctor smile.

"Don't worry, I'm all good now." The old man fondled Donggu's hair as a response.

"You see? Losing someone does not mean you should lose yourself, too, Donggu."

The patient wiped away the wetness from his cheeks. His tears stopped gushing a few moments ago.

"You know, there is one thing we could learn from death." It got Donggu curious who tilted his head in attention.

Dr. Oh laid watch of the boy's reaction and was relieved to see him respond in a positive way.

He mirrored Donggu's reaction and as a matter-of-factly asked him.

"Want to know?"

The city lights twinkle from a distance. Flickering as it danced with the shadows casted by the train's windows. 

Jihye was silent in her reverie. The scene outside her seat appears festive. Prancing hues of oranges and reds along with hints of blue and yellow.

An amalgamation of colors that imbues warmth to everyone that witnesses it.

And indeed, she felt the warmth.

But not from the lights, but for something far more greater than the city's colors.

She has spent the day with Mrs. Jeon that she forgot she has to be back at the hospital by noon. By the time she remembered, the sun had already set.

Time flies when you're having fun, the saying would go. Well, you couldn't call her time spent with Mrs. Jeon Soon-im as fun but it did take it up without her realizing.

They started a bit shaky and awkward till she told her news about her fostered son. It went heartbreaking that it drained the old woman. She didn't plan to stay for too long but she can't help but stay since the woman was by all herself.

Next thing she knew, the old woman started reminiscing her moments with him which got the young doctor curious.

And what little introduction she was gladly given has turned into a much more shocking revelation.

"This was his. His favorite."

Mrs. Jeon was kneeling in front of what it seemed to be Donggu's cabinet. She fished from inside a pair of green jacket folded neatly over a green track pants.

She gladly invited Jihye into Donggu's room when the doctor asked her things about her foster son.

Noone has ever thought of batting an eye or even care about anything about Donggu that's why when Jihye somehow showed signs that she was, the mother didn't hesitate and catered to her curiosity.

"Sometimes I get mad at him for wearing the same clothes over and over again." Mrs. Jeon smiled while she gave Jihye the clothes.

"I told him I could buy him another pair if he wants it that badly." She paused. She gave the fabric a fleeting caress before resuming with a smile.

"But he would always show signs of disapproval and tell me he doesn't want another. He just wanted that and nothing more."

Mrs. Jeon sighed and Jihye was reminded how heavy it was for a mother to lose a child.

It was all about maternal love not until a shift in the atmosphere almost choked Jihye. If there was more than a revelation for her, it'll be what Mrs. Jeon said next.

"That boy. He really thought I was clueless."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Finally the coveted update to this story. I'm sorry it took a while due to a handful of circumstances. As you may have noticed, the initial plan I had for this was for it to end with 5 chapters. It came to me that five chapters might not do enough justice for the plot thus I'm planning to extend it to a few more chapters (which I'm still unsure but we'll get there 😉)
> 
> Since the halt was a bit long, I decided to cut the chapter into two to give you a "cliffhanger" and ignite your flames for the fic (hopefully 😅)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the little update I have for y'all. This is just one of the small gifts I could give you this Christmas. Thank you for reading my fics, that alone is a Christmas gift itself. From all of you to me.
> 
> Thank you thank you ♥️
> 
> Happy Holidays, Everyone! 🎄🍾


	4. Mirage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She might have delved too deep.

The rain pitter-patters on the window of her trainseat. Hefty clouds has gathered to drench everything in both mesmeric yet woeful scene.

Jihye was on her way back to Seoul after spending almost a day with Mrs. Jeon. It totally slipped from her mind that she promised Doctor Oh she'll return before afternoon.

Well, it would've been possible if not for Mrs. Jeon's revelation leaving Jihye rooted.

[EARLIER]

They sat by the corner of Donggu's room. Mrs. Jeon was rummaging through his clothes that Jihye will bring with her back to Seoul.

Jihye's attention was captured by the room's premise. It was snugly small but nevertheless, tidy and comfortable. To imagine that Donggu spent most of his time within these walls, the only place where his other persona thrives, is mind-wracking.

His secret, safe and hidden.

If only these walls could talk.

"That boy. He really thought I was clueless."

The words rang a different tune for her. It came a surprise, she was greatly puzzled from what she heard .

"I always knew he wasn't who I'm seeing."

Mrs. Jeon continued flipping through his son's wardrobe while Jihye sat sporting an inquisitive expression on her face.

"You knew?" It was a surprise to her that the old woman knows the truth about him. The thought of it sent chilling stings to her skin.

Yet Mrs. Jeon just hummed a nod. "He was knocked out and cold when I first met him. Even thought he was dead back then." She reminisced.

She fished for another pair of apparel from inside the cabinet. This time, a teal sweater and a white shirt.

"I heard that boys his age were part of gang fights, so I tried to ignore him and just be on my way but..."

A hitch in her breathe made her pause. Jihye furrowed in confusion. _Gang fights? Oh._ She realized Mrs. Jeon was unaware of the truth.

"Before I could live, I heard him say something. It sounded weak and inaudible but I manage to understand it." She resumed.

" _Eomma_. He said _eomma_." The meekness of his voice that time played in her mind like a refreshed record.

"His voice was low and shaky and full of pain. I... It's obvious he was hurting and I couldn't leave him there."

The matriarch took a deep breathe to compose herself. She then handed a few more apparels to Jihye who remained silent all throughout. They were seated a few inches apart that Jihye has to scooch closer to give her comfort.

"I brought him home. Tend to his wounds and changed his sullied clothes." She longingly gazed towards the green clothes resting on Jihye's lap.

"I changed him to those. I had nothing to clothe him but a pair of outgrown clothes from my older son."

"Next thing I knew, when he gained consciousness, he started being clumsy and acted like a total dimwit." Mrs. Jeon continued.

"What made you see through it, ma'am?" Jihye dared to asked. Curious of Mrs. Jeon's assumption.

"Would it sound unbelievable if I say it's instincts?"

_Instincts?_

"I'm aware I'm not his mother but a mother knows what a child feels. Even if it's not hers." She paused, zipped the cabinet close and turned her attention to her guest.

"A mother takes the role when it calls for it. And I knew Donggu needed it. He needed a mother." She softly remarked.

Jihye couldn't argue about that. Jeon Soon-Im may be wrong on her assumption about Donggu but she was absolutely right with her instincts. 

"Then one day, he went to me, dressed in his once bloodstained clothes and joined me eating. Yet he just sat there and I... I knew what was going to happen..."

Her voice began to crack as her tears surges. Jihye noticed that the memories seems to drain her.

"Ma'am, you don't have to continue. It's-"

"It's fine, child." Mrs. Jeon hushly said. Pausing for a few moment to gain composure over her tears. Once she overcome the urge to cry, she resumed.

"That day before he left, the look in his eyes. The change in his posture. The suddenness of everything. It confirms my hunch from the beginning. He was putting an act."

She paused to wipe the tears brimming under her eyes. Mrs. Jeon appeared so hapless. She might have successfully suppressed her tears but the strain she went through just to hold the ravaging sadness was palpable. And Jihye felt her pain.

"But don't get it wrong." Mrs. Jeon protested. "He may be lying but he never did harm me. Not even once. He was a thoughtful kid. He was."

It was heart-rending to witness. Yet it pains Jihye more that the old woman seems to be clueless of her foster son's true nature.

Jihye's lost whether to break it to her or keep it for herself.

If only she could find an easy way to tell her that Donggu isn't a hooligan nor a havoc wrecking juvenile in the neighborhood.

But is a cunning spy tasked with a dreaded mission. An enemy not by one, but of a whole country.

That his true name was Ryu Hwan.

And Donggu was never true. Never...

... true.

And there it struck her. 

The magnitude of the realization rushing and heavily dawning.

It was like a reminder that rattles her to reassess things on a straight line.

Donggu is just a product of the mind.

A fruit of an intricate scheme.

A stepping stone to achieve objectives of espionage.

Yet she failed to see that. She saw him behind rose-colored glasses that casted her away from the truth.

The moments she spent with him has made her soft that it started to cloud her judgment.

The thing was, it's always a sunny day with him. He was bright and it was her momentary escape from her burdens. The stress from her job and her insecurities, she forgets them when she's with him. 

She latched on the idea that she found someone who sees her the way she yearned to be seen. And she saw it in him. Cocooning herself in his warm presence that it totally slipped from her mind that the warmth was never real.

It was fleeting.

It was shambling.

Fake and transient.

She's aware that it's all hoax, she does. But only to an extent that never touches beyond the surface. There was a bigger picture and she failed to see it. 

Like an iceberg with only its tip on display. A larger and deeper, much scarier portion lies hidden and only awaits for her to realize.

The second she figured it out,it hit her like a truck running on full speed, leaving her a casualty of the truth.

Donggu was never real. He may be now due to a trauma but one day, that one ineluctable day, would come and he'll wake up to fill what's rightfully there.

He's never real. She quietly reiterated. Hoping that her mind would slap her heart some sense. She can't have it now.

No, she can't have it at all.

Yet she has grown too fond on him. Too fond that it swells within her and aches upon the realization.

She felt foolish for failing to assess everything with caution.

Now it caused her to feel something that is beyond her intention to serve as a doctor -his doctor.

Jihye has her heart on her sleeves. Again. She should have learned from it by now. She once fell for the same plot and now, she's back on it again. Although the difference where palpably distinguishable.

Because now, it was for a non-existent person.

For an illusion.

A mirage that is Bang Donggu.

"Are you alright?" 

Mrs. Jeon unconsciously snapped her back to sense. She was out of it immediately and just resolved with a sheepish smile as if rapture hasn't lashed on her.

"I am, Mrs. Jeon. I am."

The night was young when Jihye decided to head home. Mrs. Jeon offered her a walk to the bus stop and won over her despite Jihye's refusals.

"My apologies for making you go through those tears again, ma'am." She tried to hatch a conversation as they walk side by side on the sidewalk. "I hope I haven't bothered you with my sudden visit."

Mrs. Jeon stared at her wistfully and chuckled.

"Silly. You don't have to apologize. You did nothing wrong.... Or did you?" 

It made her chuckle when it got the young doctor stuttering.

"I'm just kidding, sweetie." Mrs. Jeon quipped and threw her glance back to the streets ahead of them.

"Truth is, I'm actually grateful you visited. I've been tearing my guts trying to find him. Now I know he's alive and is in good hands. Thanks to you. And more than that..."

The wind blew pass them. Carrying with it the cold of the foreboding rain. Jihye faced her in full attention. Curious what the elder would say.

"... I met someone who's curious about him."

"What do you mean, Mrs. Jeon?" She asked.

"It was rare to have someone be concerned about him. It means so much to me to have you here." She paused and pursed a smile. Glanced back at Jihye while her hands shuffle inside her coat pockets.

"And I guess it means so much to him, too. Having someone who cares enough to ask." She fondly added.

It was fluttering to the point that Jihye felt unworthy of it. She was there to help with his recovery. Gathering information that could help her understand her patient. Although part of it was because she's curious about him.

"Well, I know you're just doing what your job asks of you but I still can't help it. You gave me hope."

The sky was brewing rain when they reached the bus stop. Not long enough a shuttle arrived and they quickly bid their farewells with a smile and courteous bows.

Jihye was a step away from the bus door when something tugged her to glance at the old lady whose eyes were on her.

Mrs. Jeon stood still. Appearing so small on her hunching posture and wrinkled complexion. Tough years smeared on her whole being but she undeniably stormed those times.

Her tale left Jihye empathizing for her agony. Now that she knew a part of Donggu's story through the eyes of his foster parent, she could only silently praise how strong and kind-hearted Mrs. Jeon was. She never judged him despite her view of him as a delinquent.

Before she could even take another step into the bus, the urge to ask the question overruled her doubts.

"Mrs. Jeon." The old lady quickly noticed.

"If the day comes that you learn something grave about Donggu , would you still accept him?"

Mrs. Jeon remained still.

The blowing wind through rustling leaves filled the air. Along with the honking and roaring cars that saves the atmosphere from desolation. Yet those nuances were toppled by the brief silence before her sweet maternal smile.

Another early evening breeze brushed on their skin and the elderly answered. Palm rested where her heart is, she gave her chest a small tap and spoke.

"The heart knows what is real. Always will."

_The heart knows what is real._

The phrase reverberates inside Jihye's head. Weighing every word and searching truth in it.

Does her heart knew what is real?

What does she deemed real to begin with?

There were no answers to those questions right now. Not because she doesn't have one but rather, she's afraid she might give a response she doesn't mean.

_Tip...tap....tip....tap..._

The rain outside her window doubled. Enough to pull her out of her trance. It was raining for a while now and by the looks of it, won't be stopping anytime sooner.

She gave a glance at the view outside the window. Staring at how the blurry image of the city dash relatively before her eyes.

It seems the world revolves and fleets before her. Cascading in beautiful colors, it was breathtaking. And somewhere within those farrago, is a metaphor to Donggu.

If the urban lights could translate Jihye's perception of him, it would be the harmony of reds and oranges from afar. 

Reassuring and calm.

But once you step in, taking a peek closer, you'll realize it wasn't just simple union. But an amalgamation of multiple gradient shooting from every corner. Realizing it's the opposite.

Confusing and chaotic.

It was an illusion to say.

Something so simple on the exterior but so intricate in the inside.

A mirage.

And as what purpose mirages serve, she was lost.

She might have delved too deep than what she meant. And by doing so, the mirage that was simply shimmering from a distant started to take shape.

A form more obscure than itself.

A form she never thought was possible that it scares her.

It scares her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back. Hope I still have readers for this fic. I have been busy since finals are upcoming. I know I have been failing you guys, I am really sorry. As much as I want to pour more time in my fics and make quality stories, I may not deliver them immediately. But please know that I'm doing all that I could do (tho it may not be enough.)
> 
> I'm so sorry once again. Still, I hope you'll be entertained by this chapter and the story as a whole.
> 
> Thank you so much. :)

**Author's Note:**

> What is OSDD-1 or simply OSDD? 
> 
> Other specified dissociative disorder (OSDD) is a dissociative disorder that serves as a catch-all category for symptom clusters that do not fit neatly within another dissociative disorder diagnosis. This diagnosis was known as dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS).
> 
> Twitter: @lexywexie


End file.
